Intention

What Makes You Think Your Goal Is What You Truly Want?

Posted on May 12, 2026

I’d bet money on this: You have a strong desire for some big something. It might show up as a wishing or wanting that gnaws at you. Maybe it’s a very ambitious goal you’re already chasing. In fact, you no doubt have multiple desires or ambitions.

Why do those things matter to you? What’s driving those desires?

Most likely, your reasons for wanting them are hidden from you. That’s because we human beings—all of us—are victims of a powerful psychological force called mimetic desire. You’ve probably never heard of it.

 The concept was introduced by a French philosopher named Rene’ Girard in his 1961 work, Deceit, Desire, and the Novel. Sixty years later, in 2021, Luke Burgis wrote about the same dynamic in Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life. 

So what is it? 

I’m oversimplifying here, but mimetic desire is like copycat ambition. 

The core idea is that human desire is not spontaneous or original. It’s imitative. We don’t want things because we independently decide they are valuable. We want them because we see or imagine that someone else wants them. But we hide this from ourselves. We like to believe our desires are authentic and self-generated, rather than because we pick up external signals that something is worth wanting. 

Mimetic desire shows up early in life. A child has no particular interest in a toy until another child picks it up, then suddenly he wants it badly. Or take an adult—A job, prestigious degree, automobile, clothes, or some other status symbol becomes far more appealing once you perceive that others covet it. 

We pursue some dream because it’s popular, highly desired by others, apparently important, or supposedly gratifying. All too often, though, we chase goals that don’t fit us. 

Consider some of today’s popular goals. Honestly, do so many people truly want to be an entrepreneur? Run a marathon? Author a book? Become a life coach or start a podcast? Climb Mt. Everest? Do they really understand what each of those goals involves? Do they want to DO those things because they would enjoy the work, the process, the journey with its particular struggles? Or does the goal appeal only because they’d feel special if they had DONE it? Big difference there. 

Luke Burgis writes: 

“Imitation leads people to pursue things that seem desirable at first but ultimately leave them unfulfilled…Mimetic desire is like that. If we’re not aware of it, it will take us places we don’t want to go.”

Don’t trust your first impulses when choosing your goal. It deserves a lot of thought and deep reflection. 

Actor and author Matthew McConaughey says rather than trying to determine what you want to do or be, start by deciding what you don’t want to do or be. That’s easier.

The key is to turn blind wanting into intentional wanting.